this is retarded.

after four days of having been: (a) dirtier than ever; (b) drunker than ever; (c) more pissed at the world than ever; (d) more tired than ever; (e) more ready to collapse into a pile of crap and bury myself than ever, i have officially moved myself and my roommate into our new flat.

but, it seems i transfered my energy, gas, and phone service to the wrong address. that means that you, too, were given the wrong address. goddammit.

here is the correct stuff:

broox. and lindsay, of course.
1215 beaconsfield avenue, flat 1n (the flat number is what changed)
grosse pointe park, mi 48230

phone + 313.882.6923 (not on, however, until thursday, 6th october)
mobile phone + 586.610.1800 (this will change very soon, though, but it's ok for now)

woot. stop by anytime. i'm only two blocks away from amy michael scott now, too.

and that, of course, is a wicked incentive.

ok. i am re-entering the livejournal world for a moment.

only to say two things:

(1) mootheth. (that is for you, and you know who you are.)

(2) go here: http://www.mugglenet.com/viewer/?image_location=harrypotter6_HR.jpg

well this post was going to be a reply to another post, but then it got way long. it's full of things i promised i wouldn't say or pontificate on at length. but i have to openly vent; i can't scream at the wall in the shower any more. you don't have to feel obligated to even reply, although i'm up for debate. i'm not going to write about politics anymore, don't worry, but i don't expect to feel back to my funny as hell self for a long while, at least. therefore, i probably won't be writing much.

thanks erin, i'm glad that, as a democrat, not everything i stand for is bad. i'm glad you want to pray for this president. god's will is *not* always done. people often mistakenly think it is. if it were, i would not do half the things i do. neither would anyone. perhaps god needs bush in office to do good or bad for our country; we never know the end, because there is no end. but i think a lot of people need to remind themselves about separation of church and state - we can't legislate based on the bible; it's not a legal document. that's why our country works.

i totally agree with you on the negative view of christians from the "outside." i think, although i'm christian, i usually feel on the outside. concordia made me hate christianity for its pettiness, gossip-ridden supremest attitude, fallacy, and utter fakeness. i've followed my dad through a number of church jobs. maybe that's yet another reason i hate - hate - concordia still. every church body is corrupt. they all have those qualities. i love my faith. but i hate the way i see it demonstrated by fellow "christians," who act like, because i am pro-choice, or because i am pro-gay marriage, that i am a hell-bound, antichristian heathen.

i'm not a hell-bound, antichristian heathen.

i'm just not scared of diversity. i am not a supremest. i believe in equality. i believe people should be who god made them to be. i believe we should not condemn people for what some ignorantly believe is a sexual "choice." there is no choice. when did you decide to be attracted to that last man or woman you were attracted to? i believe this country cannot legislate from whom "life" comes because that is an issue of faith, between god and myself, not a politician. i have never asked a girl to have an abortion, though i've avoided unprotected sex. if i slip up, i will not want the girl to have an abortion, but it's not my right to deny that of another couple. pro-choice is not necessarily pro-abortion.

i'm relieved the election is over. i am so sad for john kerry, and i'm still in shock. kerry is a class-act. bush is an ex-crack user, alcoholic, c-student, and currently our president. that's not slander, it's public record. so pray for him. he has made few wise decisions as president. it remains true, the worst attack *ever* on this country happened *under his watch.* regardless of all else, it happened with *him* as our leader. and instead of reacting to that, he went after a completely non-related "threat". so pray for him. pray for current friends and future children, that they won't be subjected to a draft. pray for legislators, that they will move past conservative fundamentalism, and stand up for what our country is about - non-religion-based equality for all. all. that includes blacks. homosexuals. bisexuals. transexuals. hispanics. homeless. illiterates. students. christians. jews. atheists. hindus. native americans. everyone. everyone. everyone, regardless of political reasoning.

and, yes, thanks erin, do pray for john kerry and the 50% of the country that continue to support him, that his family and friends and supporters will heal and that our country as a whole will heal and move past this split down the middle. i'm in no position to embrace bush as my leader. i still dislike most everything about him. but i embrace our country as the best place on earth, and hope earnestly that we might move forward together throughout the next 4 years, and that when bush's administration leaves in january of 2009, we will be more unified and can elect a president who will support public schools, social services, the arts, equality, the lower and middle classes, small businesses, and respect the american people's intelligence a bit more, respect the opinion of the world at large, will stand up for minorities, not deny them rights, and will understand there is no longer such a thing as a winnable war.

this was a little long. a little rantish. but you know, it's our diversity of opinions that makes life beautiful. what would this place be if we were all the same? i love you, thanks for letting me vent a little.

good night.

i am poor again.

i had the misfortune of waking up this morning to find that, once again, i had lived through the night.

for my thoughts on being poor, please see below.

and send me some money for god's sake.

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Resumé/Wail/Frustration-Ricky Ian Gordon-Bright Eyed Joy: The Songs of Ricky Ian Gordon

ladies, gentlemen, and undecided...

you might relate to a situation i unfortunately found myself in this past week.

to my despair i discovered that sadly my incoming funds are failing to keep pace with my outgoings, and i, though decidedly blue-blooded, had been driven down to a mere personal wealth of $2.99.

that situation rectified after direct deposit kicked in this past wednesday, but as recently as tuesday, i was poor.

being poor sucks, so i am suggesting the following steps to ensure that you don't ever have to experience it.

but first we need to define what poor is. poor, adj., is suck. poor is when you're monetary funds are gone and you feel yourself becoming uglier by the minute, and the dude picking your cans -- YOUR cans, the ones you threw away last week because you simply don't do the bottle returning thing -- out of the apartment complex's rubbish bins is starting to look like a new mate to go introduce yourself to, and maybe set up an afterwork leisure activity of shootin squirrels and roastin them up fer supper. when you're poor you can't properly conjugate verbs and therefore drop the "g" off of the "-ing" suffix. when you're poor you have to sort through the dirty laundry for a pair of boxers in the morning. preferably ones from at least a month ago, so they will seem newer than those from the past week or so. when you're poor, any clothes properly made in a sweatshop bearing the banana republic label don't seem to fit, so you have to wear clothes from wal-mart that say "made in u.s.a." on the label, whatever that means. poor is when you think being a jerry is cool, because you don't have to buy crap like razors, shaving cream, toothpaste, deodorant or shoes. poor is when you address people as "bro." poor is when you actively seek out life threatening diseases, like hiv or republican, to end your crappy life a little sooner. and, among other things too lugubrious to list, poor is when you have to ration your bill-paying activity and pay only the necessities, like your supplier.

yeah, poor is a lot of words. but it all amounts to the fact that poor sucks.

how, you ask, to avoid this situation? i'll tell you... in a mere three steps:

1) steal. steal from everyone, every son of a pup you come across, especially if they do not exhibit signs of being poor. because, and this is important, if you somehow fail, and do become poor, you don't want too much competition. so don't steal from anyone who looks like they might be getting poor; they could get there before you, and steal all them good squirrels, bro. steal from the man. steal from the... woman. steal money, steal bread, steal prescriptions (you can sell them and use them - a great commodity), steal from the ugly, they deserve it, and steal from the old because they can't run properly. steal from people who smell. steal from people who are color blind, the freaks.

2) once you have your stolen money, invest it. by that i mean loan it out at high interest to people whom you can actively blackmail if they show hesitance to reimburse you properly. you can, for instance, finance a mad person's desire to snuff someone off by providing them with a reasonably priced hitman. make sure to charge a good 45% interest on that loan, and have a proper legal contract drawn up. that way you'll avoid the awkward situation of being found guilty of premeditated murder. you could also invest in drugs, because whenever someone's jonesing you'll be paid well. or you could start your own business. i have found that a dot com business does particular well if it is webcam-based; all you'll have to do is a little self-promotion, and continuously run a pre-recorded 45 minute... er... session...

3) once you've invested your cash, you're nearly all set for the high life. the only thing you have to do now is kill everyone who knew you when you were poor. especially that guy you got matey with from the dumpster. that way there will be zero record of your previously sad and somewhat dodgy existence. stay tuned for good tips on murder, i'm really tired and bored now so i don't feel like giving you that information yet.

so there you go! i aim to help, you know, but a little disclaimer... the aforementioned is not a guarantee, just a small list of the steps i have found useful in the procurement of funds.

because poor is suck.

but i am not poor anymore, i had payday on wednesday. thanks heather!

late.

Current Mood: good
Current Music: The Way-Fastball-All The Pain Money Can Buy

oh, so i forgot something i meant to put in my earlier thing.

you need to check out my dad's most recently released cd!

ok, here is the website. let me see if i can actually make this work properly...

www.cdbaby.com/fishwick

you can buy it there if you want, it's really great, and sounds better than in the samples they put up... extra special prizes for anyone who buys one.

late.

Current Mood: good
Current Music: Woman Be Wise-Bernadette Peters-I'll Be Your Baby Tonight

every day at work is like a wondrous adventure into the rainforest.

there's a great amount of interesting creatures, whom i call "clients," and even more fascinating beasts, like sales reps and whatnot, who give to me the most interesting names.

seriously if i get called anything other than my proper name, spelled either with an "x" or "ks", or for one special individual "ks/x" is fine (and i might add, for that one person exclusively is that acceptable), i will most likley unearth an extraordinarily large canteen of acid with which to enjoy eroding their skin to mere traces of flesh upon dissolving bone... sick, i'm grossing myself out.

the point is, my name is brooks. or broox. pronounced the same. broox is my nickname.

i made it up for myself, because no one ever gave me a nickname before and i wanted one, and i always give to myself the things i want when no one else will.

these names, which are actually things people have called me, are not acceptable:

-brooke (the most common, the most vulgar, and, next to "ma'am" the thing that is most likely to earn you the aforementioned acid treatment.)

-brook (pronounced similarly to the above, and i appreciate it more, because it seems more masculine. it most often appears in print, like when i've placed an order at work and we get an invoice. then at least i know that my efforts to lower my voice by seven octaves on the telephone are paying off.)

-broojs (appears often in print, because apparently on some people's typing instruments the "j" and "k" are close together. whatever. no excuse. use spell check, buttface.)

-miles (a conversation goes like this... "is miles in?" "no, there's no one here by that name." "oh. i thought he was the manager." "no, i'm the manager. my names is brooks." "oh, i'm so sorry, what an... er... interesting name.")

-brooke sheild (at thomas and andrea czinder's wedding this old... human being, who may have been of the female gender, but age had made it rather difficult to tell via all the usual physical means of visual gender detection... anyway, she said, "are you the one they call 'brooke'?" so i said, "no. no, they call my 'brooks,' that's my name." and she has the further gumption to add, "oh, like brooke sheild?" what in the bloody name of mary does this human have against an "s" at the end of a name?

...i know there are more, but in my rage i seem to have forgotten them. but seriously.

anyway, that's just one of the things i love about work, getting my name all confused. but at least i didn't have to suffer the misfortune of having been named lindsay, as one of my (male) co-workers has had to endure.

i love my name, so get it the hell right when you say it to me.

i will now let you return to your lives, which hopefully will be better with the knowledge that i am loving you all. until later...

Qui, la, dovunque sarai,
Sento forte il mio cuore che va.
Ancor la porta aprirai,
Per entrar nel mio cuore,
E il cuore mio va e va.

Current Mood: good
Current Music: Rockin' the Suburbs-Ben Folds-Rockin' the Suburbs

by the way, tell all your mates i'm officially geekin it up and have this little journal going.

they'll thank you, i swear.

Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: Downfall-Matchbox Twenty-More Than You Think You Are

here's a little story.

thomas told me he kept an online journal, and i enjoyed quite the fit of laughter. for probably upwards of a half hour. i made fun of him. i completely and utterly took the mickey out of that kid, and only stopped because we were going to see harry potter.

and there is no messing around when it comes to harry potter.

i called thomas names, really mean names. like dork. like geek. like the ultimate insult, buttface.

but then i read his little online journal and though, oh. how interesting. i could write notes about everything i am doing, because people seem interested. i could bombard them with pointless information about my life. i could let them know everything that i am doing, and just how fun it is.

i could please my fans.

how could i resist? how could i not respond to the overwhemling desire for information about my life?

so i answered myself, i'll make a little journal. and i'll make it good and funny as hell and it will be the joy of my friends' lives. and maybe i'll get laid.

i mean, maybe i'll get paid. that's what i meant. because i'm charging you all $50 for a subscription to my life.

so welcome. this is my first entry. want to know what i'm doing, do you?

sitting in my living room. (it's nice, i'm pretty good at picking furniture and crap). i'm watching the first potter flick. and currently thinking about ice cream. and recording a rap cd.

and how i fuckin wasted $5 making this stupid website.

don't mind that, it's just my cynicism kickin in.

lewis, this is dedicated to you. i miss you. and then i read how you wanted thomas to send me off to make one of these things, so here's to you mate. i'll go drink a guinness in your honor.

later.

Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: Friend of the Devil-Counting Crows-Films About Ghosts